Entrapment.

She smiled
loving this new feeling, this new man, this new emotion that encompassed her being
She felt as though finality had come and that she would be better
She figured that it was most important to secure her footing with this man
Ensure he would stay and endure things with her.
What he did not know was that he would be tied to her for 18 years according to the legal decree
What she had done, was something unheard of
She had diminished the seal on the condom to seal his fate in doom
"Release!!! Spew forth" screamed his body unaware that this lil bliss would fall into tragedy.

A baby boy handsome and as playful as can be
A jewel to the eye of his father with a burden of supreme agony
A cash cow for the mother, her prized money maker, her bond to the father
She made it seemed as though she had finally sealed all
Medusa's smile and glare hollering, "you are the father. You will never be free of me."
His nerves flew askew with each gathering fleet of emotions that came at him
That melodious cry like an angel of the skies was his prison sentence by the angels of the deep.

18 long years, he would be kept to his word to support for as long as he live.
He expected to be free with one spill of his seed that he could not even understand why he failed at his plan
The saying often goes, "Know before you leap"
He chose to fall head first into his desires of sexual pleasures and trysts for a notch on his tree
Poor man, undeniably saturated in fear, for his own lil tryst led to his capture by a snare
The cootchie may be special and taste remarkably sweet
but the vessel which carries it can also be a grown man's largest enemy.

©JNph (dec-12-2009)

My Vow of Silence

He was beautiful.
Utterly beautiful, with words filled with guile
Intoxicating and slyly overpowering me with temptations of bliss
I surrendered my all to him, only to be lost in unsureness based on one simple decision.
He shocked me, stunned me and killed me with one sentence
"I am a killer. I have the AIDS virus and so do you."
My fear does not lie in the virus, my fear lies in society
what will they say?
How will they treat me?
Even if I don't get tested, they will know
How will they treat me?
Will I be welcomed or shunned?
Will I be able to shop without being branded and avoided?
Will I feel as though I have help?
Should I get tested?
Am scared.

Here I am, 2 years later
I have help, but not love
I have help, but no respect
I have been abandoned.
They call me loose
they say I got that which I deserved, yet am wondering if I do deserve this.
Why was one person so careless with their life and mine?
Why was I so careless with my life? I trusted to strongly my husband, my boyfriend.
I believed when he claimed monogamy is the only alley he walked, without belief that he would stop at other houses on the way.
I felt too weakly to even listen to my conscience to get tested before.
He refused you know. Hmmph, he said I was insulting him.
Now I have to live with it
This disease that has shortened my life, and that of my children.
They will not know their mother for long, and society might not treat them too kind
For they are ignorant and dwell deep in the caverns of a small mind.
I have died a quick societal death within a slow torturous physical death.
And yet, I feel even more colder and alone for it is a great burden.

*wakes up*
I shall keep this a secret within me to be buried when I die a mysterious death until tested.
I will not reveal my fate for my fate automatically decides another fate.
I will live carefree and punish society before she punishes me.
I will ignore the disease and let it cure me.